like waking up from a drugged sleep

I'm getting that deliciously reckless feeling of wild abandonment that comes with may--the end of school, feeling like I could do anything, say anything, skip my exams, hop on a plane to london..things like that. 
It's being alive finally.  

this is what I'm looking at now. (the colors are perfect)

but generally there is just so much happening, my mind is a whirl of thoughts and ideas and feelings.  that's what this time of year is for, being overwhelmed with everything.  and there is so much art I want to talk about.

pretty much, i've been drinking lots of water and concentrating on being healthy.  that's very important to me.  I keep forgetting what I meant to say...what the hell.  anyways, happy weekend.

bored and beautiful

smoke break

I've been out every night this week so I've had no time for anything.  Yes, yes, I've been meaning to write something every day, but it never f***ing works.  You know how that is.  It's almost may. Exams, summer school, all that.  But it's lovely.  I love spring.  I love being young.  Yes, it's lovely.

I can't wait to go somewhere, be myself somewhere.  The world is waiting.  And I'm overdue...

pass this on

Give a girl a break.  Apparently this isn't one of my thinky-est days.  They just don't know my state of mind!  I mean, how can I write a paper right now?  I hate writing research papers, I'd rather make it all up in my head, not that I have anything against borrowing other people's intellectual property now and then. (kidding! sorry)  I thought university was all about fresh ideas and critical thinking, at least that's what my professors find it necessary to repeat as often as they possibly can.  So this week it's about nature v. civilization in novels, and my outline as of now is basically this:

1) Oh gosh I've no idea how to organize this.

2) I really HATE organizing things.

3) As a matter of fact, my room is really disorganized right now.  Maybe I should go organize that instead.  I mean, if you insist that I organize something...might as well...

4) HELP?

5) Um.

6) I mean, I'm so logical, I should know how to do this, right?

Procrastinating is so much FUN.  Playing dumb is even better.  I push myself hard enough as it is...

who wants to be ordinary, who wants to be sweet

Oh wow, I think I kind of suck at this whole blog thing.  But no one is really reading anyways, so I can be as shallow as I want.

First off, I got some Vitalic, which makes me happy.  Trahison = love, but there are some other great songs too : repair machines, poney 1/2.  

I study global politics at university and think about it a little too much, and lately it just makes me depressed.  Pretty much we are going to blow ourselves up or kill ourselves off with a virus.  So we're screwed either way.  It's sad, it really is.  But mostly it gets to me when people are stupid and don't care much about things and just listen to whatever whoever is telling them without thinking it through themselves.  The world is a terrible place but it's also so fascinating and amazing and worth it in so many ways.  It's all about escaping the system, people.  You have to be brave.

I have to go to class now. 

Someone take me dancing.

I was reading in the New Yorker about another lovely French film called 'My Little Loves', by Jean Eustache.  It's about 'a boy taken from the timeless charm of his grandmother's house in rural France to live with his mother and her boyfriend in grinding poverty in the small, stifling city of Narbonne.' Interesting perhaps?

Life is cruel.

My perfect weekend has evaporated into nothingness as usual with the arrival of another monday.  I hate this feeling.  It's one of those days when it seems like the world is going to have to explode really soon because I can't possibly keep this up.  MONDAY! AGAIN, ALREADY!  Who wants to think about that?

Really though, don't you think that weekends are some kind of intermediary existence in which one is fated to always dread the next week while feeling ridiculous for not taking advantage of freedom while it lasts?  I have so much to be happy about, but it's difficult.  Maybe this is what it means to be human.